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A young mom recently said she wanted her son to have both “boy” and “girl” toys. At the time, I thought, What? But after mulling over it, is that really so strange in this day and age?

I dressed up my little brothers in female clothes. The boys (to me) were like real-life baby or Barbie (Ken?) dolls. Plus, they didn’t know any better. ;)

William LOVED the color purple when he was younger. He was also an extremely talented painter before sports took over his life. Piers loved Barbie, wearing my mom’s high heels, and was a witch every single Halloween until high school. That didn’t mean he was gay, not definitely, but did we even care?  No. My cousin of the same age grew up obsessed with Disney’s The Little Mermaid and also wore high heels. He came out of the closet as soon as he hit his teens, and my brother came out a few years later, in college.

HOWEVER, my second cousin, also obsessed in his younger years with his mom’s high heels, is straight. SO… let kids love what they love and don’t judge.

I think there’s nothing wrong with a boy having a female role model or getting in touch with his feminine side. Is there something wrong with me because I obsessively played 007 on N64 in middle school or because I tried to start a girls’ football team in high school? I think not. And, for the record, I happen to be the “girliest” girl I know.

It’s easy for people to define things as black or white, but even our races are so intermixed now. So boy/girl toys, games, books, and even colors should be out. Why are we “genderizing”?

No toy or game or sport (side note: my mom called ballet my sport before I got into “sports” ha! but isn’t football a lot like ballet? think about it…) will “make” your child more “masculine” or “feminine.” Children are born the way they are and attracted to certain leisurely things naturally, and no amount of “control” over their interests is going to change their natural essence when they grow up. So why even try to do that? Introduce them to everything you can so they learn to cultivate their own interests as innocently as possible.

Bottom line: Let kids be kids. Stop genderizing. And let toys be that—just toys.

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of going to what has been named one of the best haunted adventure destinations in the country: The Headless Horseman Hayrides and Haunted Houses in Ulster Park, NY. This place is no joke: You can’t bring in cameras, they seriously pat you down for weapons and drugs, and there is a very long line for every activity, as if in a theme park, even though you’ve reserved your tickets in advance. But it’s worth it: Nothing ever scares me, and I had some truly terrifying moments here, which brings me to my current musings on color.

I was part of a fun group of four, but I was wearing a neon orange skirt and everyone else was more or less neutral—jeans and dark colors. And I was by far the most attacked by zombies, killer nurses, and other horrific creatures in the haunted houses. At first I thought it was because I was first, and by leading the group, the crazies naturally went for me. After being accosted by several people, I went through another house as the last person in the group. I also tried the third position. No matter what, I was always singled out and chased after. A guy with a chainsaw literally almost killed me (though someone said they aren’t real chainsaws, which was obvious when he put it to my leg, they certainly look and sound real), and this gets especially scary when you try to run away only to run into some other mummy or freaky butcher or gosh! there were a lot of characters. Everyone with me really got a kick out of this; I think I was the only one truly frightened—because I kept being targeted!

So I am blaming this all on the orange skirt, which stood out in the pitch black more than the muted colors of those around me. It attracted all of the creeps! However, we can all use this to our advantage. Bright colors attract. NYCers should especially listen up. When you want to be noticed, get rid of all that damn black. Just think about how when you’re walking down the street in the winter and you see someone with a yellow coat. You notice. You remember that one pedestrian. And let’s face it: this city needs a lot more color in the coat months. It literally brightens the day.

Today for instance, I have on a green skirt, a yellow scarf, and a red fall coat with silk leopard print on the inside. My bag is faux snakeskin silvery gold (I know this all sounds like it clashes, but trust me, the shades of each piece work together). Now in a sea of black, how many heads DIDN’T turn? My swagger can’t take all the credit . My point is, if you want attention, if you want to be memorable, colorize your look. If you want to remain anonymous, forgettable (you are dealing with an embarrassing scandal right now, for instance), eliminate bright from your wardrobe and wear black, brown, and gray.