When speaking of a certain ex and why I broke up with him, I always say, “He was a dreamer and not a do-er.” What I mean by that—and I’ve known a few other men like this in my life—is that though he was brilliant and had many interests, he never materialized all of his wealth of talent and opportunity into anything. You can only live in a fantasy world for so long. I could no longer listen to the passion if there wasn’t the action—the ambition and drive—behind it. I was moving forward in one direction; he was in limbo, moving slightly forward, laterally, or back into the past. I had a relative idea of what I wanted, and I was moving ahead in that direction. He was not.
Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh. We were only in college; at least I was, anyway. He didn’t really believe in the system and never applied to college, but he did take other classes here and there. I am not suggesting you need a college degree to make something of yourself in this world; most top CEOs do not have one. I learned most of my useful knowledge at boarding school. Boyfriend went to a different boarding school, but I’m sure he would say the same, or that he learned most life lessons on the city streets. It’s not that you need to be in a bureaucratic system, or have a “regular job;” I would never say that. I love individual, creative, intellectual people. You are either born that way, or you are not.
What I don’t understand is not cultivating your talents, and more importantly, not having the desire to build upon your God-given gifts. Watching someone with so much to offer yet not utilizing it is tiring and sad, and I could no longer handle it.
I remember thinking when we broke up: he would soon achieve greatness, and I would not see it as a part of his life, his other half, because I gave up hope. But here we are almost a decade later, and he is more or less where he was then.
There are dreamers in this world, and there are do-ers. I am of the latter group.
Dreams are good. Make them happen.