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XES

Posted on: March 11, 2012

I never quite realized the name of one of my fave dance spots, also by this title, is the word I’m talking about in reverse.

Recently, I was hanging out with some college kids who were discussing the sexcapades of the previous evening, and a (gay) boy made a joke to a (straight) girl, that he did not, indeed, pull a _____ (insert her name here) with his sleepover buddy.

What he was trying to say was, “I put effort into this and didn’t just lie there lazily (like you).”

I naturally had to throw in my two cents. Basically, if you are as gorgeous as this girl is, you don’t have to do any work, not for a casual thing. Don’t waste your time! Take him for all he’s worth and relish in it.

This is a simple business operation; the guy is just happy that you’re letting him in. Ladies, think: You need what I have and I may need what you have (but not as much, of course).

I’ll be the first to admit that I am extremely lazy in bed when it’s not serious. Even when it becomes serious, take your time. Save effort and work for the person you get serious with. Seriously.

This brings me to my next point (which is directed to girls who are into boys, because that is what I know best): When you are finally committed, beyond putting in a little more enthusiasm, bring your tricks out of the bag very, very (I can’t emphasize this enough!) slowly. You need to keep a man intrigued. Start out kind of lazy, and then surprise. But keep it very sporadic and unpredictable.

And, while I’m at it, boys who are into girls: Most girls are more willing to do things to you if you DON’T ask, because then it feels like a chore. (Sound familiar? It’s like when we ask you to take out the trash—tres unsexy.) Give us a little more time to be dying to burn your britches; besides, it will be much more pleasurable for you if we are into it.

‘Nuff said.

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