Recently, I had my very first experience with theft, me being the thief.

I was called a boyfriend stealer once, but that’s different. Plus it was unjustified, as the girl who called me that dated everyone after me, not before me, (Wait, who stole? Oh, you can have my sloppy seconds, B—done with that), but when she found out her bf was going to my college, she probably wanted him to avoid me since the same guys were generally attracted to both of us…I guess.

I’ve never approved of stealing in any way, shape, or form. I’ve had friends who went through shoplifting phases in high school. I could never justify it. It’s wrong. Nor did I think it was thrilling, which I think was half the reason these girls who could afford things stole them instead. Or maybe they just felt entitled because that’s what they were taught by their parents who spoiled them. You’re just screwing someone else who is trying to make an honest living with that kind of selfish behavior. It’s tres not cool.

But I was at a street fair, and this guy had a table with those snap-cracker things that you throw at the ground and they explode. I asked him how much they were three times, and he was ignoring me. Nothing pisses me off more than when people ignore me (though I think 90% of people ignore me 90% of the time because I talk too much). I’m sure they were under $3, but if you ignore me, you pay the price. I just openly picked them up and dropped them into my purse. No being discreet here; I wanted his reaction. Nothing. I waited. Fine, then. I walked away.

Some exploded in my purse. Serves me right. You get what you (don’t) pay for.

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