giaportfolio

Beware of the Momster

Posted on: October 27, 2012

Last week, I met two twenty-something friends with a fabulous story about a female character from their UVA frat-boy days. I begged them for permission to post it on giaportfolio.com, because this story is just too unbelievable not to be shared. *Names have been changed, just in case.*

It started one Saturday night when Matt, a college freshman, was walking back to his dorm after a party and his friend Ethan called him to brag about hooking up with a girl after Matt left.

As excited as Ethan was that Saturday night, he was equally if not more embarrassed the following day when he saw a picture of her. The lady was quite hideous, not to mention much older.

He was even more traumatized when his buddies figured out who she was: one of their classmates’ mothers.

Ethan’s roommate and a friend in his hall came up with the nickname “The Beast” (later, the “Momster”) for her, and taunted him with texts every time they saw her on campus. E would just shake his head in shame and disbelief.

The horrifying aftermath of the experience scared Ethan from going out and/or drinking too much during college. (Not that he was the life of the party or anything before that encounter anyway, but still…)

Later, Matt found out that Ethan wasn’t the first victim. A guy in Matt’s fraternity from the class above him had lost his virginity to the Momster—and even more intriguing—around the same time Ethan hooked up with her. This woman really got around!

“Virginity Victim,” unlike Ethan, quite significantly moved up in the ranks in terms of girlfriends after the Momster experience. In his own words : “The only place I could go after that was up.”

Once the fraternity put these two stories together and realized this cougar was chasing down all the young chaps on campus, they started calling her “The Momster” and she became an ongoing topic thread on their fraternity listserve.

I’ll be sharing the actual email threads on this soon. Strictly their conversations with translations where needed. Plus, a few other stories from the frat. (All identities protected.) Stay tuned.

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