giaportfolio

Archive for November 2014

relationships

Nothing is as cookie cutter as you try to make it look on your social media sites. And that’s okay. It’s so refreshing to find humans that actually speak the truth! I want to relate to you, not feel like I’m some dysfunctional alien (which I most definitely am regardless).

We all have problems, and I find that being an unfiltered open book about my life with my friends is refreshing and feels so much better than holding back and hiding things with a smile.

I grew up as a very private person and was taught to be mum, so perhaps I am rebelling. But seriously: You don’t have to put on a perfect face all of the time and pretend everything is all roses. Because it rarely is.

So perhaps your man was rude and you punched him in the chest, or you can’t get pregnant or he has a gambling, drinking or drug problem, or you do. Or you are doing all of the work in the relationship/in the house/for the child. Or you can’t agree on the simplest things like how the toilet paper roll should hang or bigger things like familial backgrounds that clash. Or you have fantasies about other people. Guess what? We are all human. You are not alone.

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facebook-dislike

We all know people who remove themselves from the site to eliminate distraction while studying for exams/ working on a difficult long-term project/ dealing with grief/ leading a shady life/ looking for a new job/ are just so over it.

There are those that simply find other social media outlets more useful for their particular needs, because FB is so the “aughts!” Twitter for ranting and raving celebs. Instagram for visual inspiration. Most people who leave FB end up getting sucked back into its vortex at some point. The ax is almost never permanent.

But when my boyfriend, a serious friend-padder and way-too-involved FB user uttered these words, “I think I may get off of facebook,” I was taken aback.

“You?! Seriously? Are you kidding? Why?” I shuttered out like bullets, per my usual style.

“The baby pictures. I’m sick of the baby pictures.”

I couldn’t believe it. Somehow I doubt that’s not nearly enough for an addict to go cold turkey, especially one who is obsessed with babies and toddlers in general. He absolutely adores his three nephews/godsons…and every child in viewing vicinity. “Look at that boy’s monkey backpack!” “Oh look at that girl trying to push her babydoll in the stroller. So cute!” “Our children are going to be so great.”

I, for the most part, rarely notice children that belong to strangers. I love the little ones I’m related to and those of my close friends. On my own turf, I only notice children if they talk to me.

The baby pictures comment was one that would be more likely to come out of my mouth, but it made me think about what actually bothers me about FB.

Personally, I’m weary of the engagements/weddings and the cheesy comments people make surrounding their anniversaries. You should absolutely celebrate a love you hope will last 3-4 times your age when you marry your “best friend.” But what did you accomplish? Why so self-congratulatory?

On the other hand, if you have a baby, you created a life…you created a thankless job…you have to be selfless forever. And unlike marriage (in this day and age), that is an actual lifetime commitment. Why shouldn’t you be publishing every single moment of triumph?

So cheers to all those mamas out there! You are awesome.

montauk-lighthouse

There was a time
50 poems,
a video game,
a  sense of home.

The lighthouse

After the night
on the private beach
After the drive
through  mountains and trees

The morning sun.
We were young

We were “adventurous.”

Waking naked covered in bug bites.
Walking, wrinkled clothing, by the marathoners.
Laughing atop the hill.
The Windmill.

Sunday in the Hamptons.

I thought I was in love with you.

But I was just
In love.


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