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Archive for January 2015

49

Kraft: Slurs words from his written speech while reading. Never looks up at the camera or audience. Don’t drink before you give the speech. Blow, if anything.

Belicheck: Um, uh, um, uh, um. Clearly nervous & does not answer any difficult questions. Has high compliments for the Seahawks. More PR points for getting that part right and looking at the press while speaking.

Brady: Smiles and says a lot of nothing. Gosh he’s pretty, but his head must have been knocked too many times. Pretty airheads are always let off the hook.

I don’t work in PR, but I could have prepped these guys better. You’re in a billion dollar industry. In America, people care more about football than______(fill in the blank). Not saying it’s right, just saying. This is cringingly embarrassing to watch. You’re professionals. At least play the part!

maskWhile we were alive,
We Died.

We Tried

Oh we tried
to be P-e-r-f-e-c-t

And look what we became?
Vacant

Spaces

of ourselves

Women
Not
Valued.

Insides vanished long ago

Now empty shells of peppery people.

Smile!

For the camera

It’s cold. Ice, snow. So? Take your workout indoors (if you need to) and get your runner’s high with these beats. Fresh for 2015.

#Just Do It Winter 2015

“Rise” ♦ David Guetta feat. Skylar Grey
“Hard Out Here” ♦ Lily Allen
“All You Had To Do Was Stay” ♦ Taylor Swift
“Change Your Life” ♦ Iggy Izalea
“Heartbreak Dream” ♦ Betty Who

“Addicted to You” ♦ Avicii
“Lips Are Movin’” ♦ Meghan Trainor
“The Night Is Still Young” ♦ Nicki Minaj
“Holding Onto Heaven” ♦ Foxes
“Jealous” ♦ Beyonce
“Ghost” ♦ Ella Henderson
“Hypnotic” ♦ Zella Day

♥Gigi

Click below to find links to all previous playlists.

2014

2013

The-Morning-After

Heaven forbid you have to suffer.

Sometimes—no—all of the time with age, we just can’t handle what we used to drink in handles.

SO, I choose to not over-do it at night because I hate ruining my next day.

But during my brief stint waitressing at a (no liquor license) fancy coffee cafe earlier last year, a guy asked me what else would cure his day-after disaster other than his coffee and big gourmet breakfast.

Let me tell you: Not much, so don’t party hardy in the first place unless you’re prepared to reap a day of shit. But that’s the older me speaking, and let’s be honest: Every older person parties and we still make the same mistakes. We think we’re good—but wake up and nah, we’re effin not so much.

I gave him a few quick tips, but I really thought about it later.

Because everyone can always use more advice on how to party and not suffer consequences, please add your tips in the comment section.

Here are mine:

*First, OD on water. It will flush your body of toxins and help things repair faster (like your liver). If this is the only thing you can do, it’s also the most important thing you can do.

*If you had a sleepover, morning sex helps by releasing endorphins (your natural painkiller), which kill the headache and help you sweat out the toxins.

*Take a shot of B-vitamins intravaneously like the stars! Or vape them. Or simply just take some orally. No judgment.

*Blue-green algae with tons of vitamins is amaze. Find it all in GT’s multi-green bottled kombacha tea. Tastes oh-so-nasty but so worth the swallow instead of feeling less than stellar. And it has trace amounts of alcohol so that may be the wise woman’s hair of the dog.

*Replenish your electrolytes with Pedialite, Gatorade, and even—someone just informed me—pickle juice.

*Two liquigel Advils or three of the regular kind work wonders.

*Alka-Seltzer, yes that old people stuff, can be amaze.

*Pizza seems to absorb and heal better than breakfast foods in my experience, but only treat yourself to the best, top quality-ingredient slice.

*Or don’t eat at all. Just drink all of your fluids, flush the poison out and sleep. Your system is already working hard enough. Assist it along and give it a break so it can break down your wild night.

Choose your own ending:
*Sleep as many hours as you can. Only get out of bed to heavily hydrate and use the loo.

*Move on with your day. Drink some coffee if you feel you need it. And carve out some time for a nap. 🙂

nye_fireworks

So my bf had the idea to have a New Year’s Eve party—at my place.

I thought: Cool because I have to work that day, I don’t care for the holiday or to travel, and it’s cold. But if everyone comes to me, fantastic! And this hostess has not ever hosted a party at her current home!

My roommate got on board and the three of us began planning.  And I think, great. Me, party-planner, well this wasn’t my idea so I don’t have to do all of the planning and hostess work and I won’t care as much if it’s awful.

But it was anything but. We thought oh—like 12 people may actually be free. But the day before, the number had climbed to 30+, and then 40+ ended up coming.

It is so fun when you have help prepping for a party, because it’s an exhausting amount of work if you want to include tons of personal touches, a la moi.

So the men focused on the man power: creating a stocked bar, moving furniture, and driving to PA for $200 worth of fireworks while I focused on decorations, party favors, blankets, balloons, air mattresses, pillows, pajamas, toothbrushes, every beauty product you can think of and goodie bag gifts. Oh yes, and the tapas menu.

The day after the affair, I thought what didn’t happen? Nothing I can think of.

Dancing, debauchery at its finest, huge fireworks show on the roof, inappropriate comments/confessions, tons of alcohol and fancy food, midnight toast actually was ready and poured for everyone on time for countdown, green things, white things, cop who lives downstairs made people do shots with him and puked in our sink (and here I thought we’d have a noise complaint or an arrest for lighting fireworks off the roof) glitter, glow, live music after dance party, and everyone (who wanted to) got laid!

I call that Succe$$!

And now all I hear is: When are you having your next party?!

Stay tuned. This old soul is still recovering 😉


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