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Archive for May 2015

pretty.hair

I love girls. Because here’s the TRUTH: Girls are prettier than boys.

While I have no interest in making out with a female, I am the first to say a woman is gorgeous. It could be that she’s genetically blessed and/or well-groomed. Nota bene: Those things are tossed out the window if she has negative energy.

But certain ladies walk into a room and light it up. My mom is one of them and I completely aspire to have that radiance.

I recently discovered that I have an issue touching these lightbulb girls’ hair when partying. I love hair. I didn’t have a first word as a child, I had a first sentence: “My hair pretty.” Except that I had no hair. It didn’t grow until I was four. My mother taped a different bow/hairpiece to my bald head each day for nursery school, which would inevitably fall out and end up in my cubby once a teacher found them.

But now, even as a grown up girly girl, I’ve never had that va-va-voom hair which I’ve forever desired. And for the past 5 years, this hair won’t even hold a curl. Therefore, I love voluminous party hair.

Enter Katie Griffin, the most festive, fabulous, best-dresser great-haired girl, like, ever. I call her my adopted sister, as she lives with my bro on the UWS but also joins in on plenty of family holidays because a working gal just can’t travel to Michigan all of the time. Seriously, NYC is serious.

At our Spring Fling party, KG was the talk of the night (I found out the next day from the dudes who crashed). There was even a situation where one guy said he didn’t want to step on his friends toes and pursue her. And all I could think was like duh, KG is my girl crush! However, neither of us are lezzies.

So let the men battle it out.

And you go girl!

With your damn fabulous hair.

 

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FAIL

Posted on: May 5, 2015

failure

POF stands for “premature ovarian failure.”

“FAILURE.”

Life has thrown me a lot of hurdles. But now I should probably just tattoo the new F-word on my forehead.

I’ve never been in trouble with the law. I’ve always followed the rules (except that one time in high school) and I’m continually punished.

Just another label that makes me feel like a charity project and reinforces the failure I feel being an outcast from “normal” society, from everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve. There are so many days I question whether I should have let my cancer take its toll. I do feel that that was my proper time and people got in the way. “Let life take its course,” I thought. “Don’t play God.” All around me people gave me the “Gia, you are crazy and stop it” speech. I think I’ve been screwed ever since. My career success was the only thing that ever mattered, and even that is becoming a distant dream. I wish I had died in my laurel wreath.

Someday…when is that? I’ve worked hard since I was 11, hustling to be independent and take care of myself, but my soul is beginning to break. Why me, of all people? That is really the wrong question to ask, because I’ve realized, it’s not even about me, it’s not just me. A lot of us who have great schooling and great skills somehow have no place in this world.

I always thought “I’m supposed to be the happy, strong one. I am tough. Nothing gets in my way. I create my own success (or failure).”

But F that.

Now science labels me a failure, something that is/was out of my control, nothing I could do…

The good part is having a large family and a great support group that recognizes my value, even if I don’t.

 

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