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Why You Need To Watch Teen Witch

Posted on: October 30, 2015

Teen Witch

Let’s get Halloween-ey!!  I loved Teen Witch well before I was even a pre-teen, but I recently felt the need to see it again. It’s still so relevant!

Here is why my younger millenial friends should watch it: Imagine every 80’s teen movie meets Grease and Mean Girls with a sprinkling of Hocus Pocus.

The Characters:

♠Louise, played by Robyn Lively who is super awesome in the role (and—I just found out—older half-sister of Blake Lively)

♠The creepy woman from Poltergeist also stars! (You know her; that voice is unforgettable)

♠Brad, the hot guy lead, looks like the better version of young Tom Cruise

♠Louise’s little brother is Goonies-kitsch, fat, and super weird/funny

♠The mom is superhot, the dad is not. But they are both nerdy in typical 80s sitcom-couple style.

♠Special sightings of people playing high school students that may now be dead, like Lara Flynn Boyle.

Fantastical Cheesery:

♠Opening credits dream scene (romance-novel cringeworthy)

♠Locker room 80’s aerobics dance number

♠The white rap boys in all their numbers

♠Really, all of the musical numbers

♠The big hair, the pink parade, the tutu tulle mini skirts. Bring me back! I was just starting school then, but I had similar outfits by the time I hit first grade and the pictures to prove it.

♠Like every teen movie that ends at prom, but the hairah, the hairah!

♠The Voodoo doll scene with the teacher is a display of brilliant revenge

Dialogue:

“I mean, everyone tells me I’m going to be a big heartbreaker when I’m older, but I want to be, like, now.”

“I’m hot and you’re not, but if you wanna get with me I’ll give it one shot. TOP THAT.”

“That is just too depressing to believe.”

“Take note kitten, it doesn’t really matter how others see you; it’s how you see yourself.”

“The price of fame and fortune is to be envied, then copied and finally discarded. I read it somewhere. Probably Rob Lowe.”

Yes, kids, this really is an awesome flick. If you can’t find it, watch it at my house as you nurse your hangover after #Halloween2015.

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