giaportfolio

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

ugly wedding

Let’s talk weddings, as well as the sharing of photos on social media. Some of the pictures are beautiful, yet many make me cringe. Bad hair, bad makeup, ugly bridesmaid dresses…and then venues that are generic and only face-lifted by flowers and lighting. The dance floor pictures are by far the worst.

It’s like prom (and I hate saying this, but): As elegant as you hoped to make your special day and for all of the time and money you spent in making it magical, the whole affair looks like it was trite and cheesy.

I guess I’m particular because I worked for Elegant Bride magazine in college, but I feel so sorry that Americans pay tons and tons of money for everything from the engagement up until the wedding ceremony, only to capture all of these “perfect” moments in photos that they will keep until the end of time… Because the photos look disingenuous. You’re better than that; your relationship deserves better than that.

How does one do it right, make their wedding authentic to their relationship? Personal, simple, elegant? Destination to keep it low-key and natural, while knowing that only the people you actually want to be there will arrive? Or grandoise and over-the-top because it’s the biggest day of your life and will (should) only happen once. If your party list is big (and even if it’s not, because a bride has so much to do), you probably won’t even get to speak to everyone you’ve invited (though yes, there will be more gifts).

I feel like if I was ever to get married, I would want it to be very much about love and not so focused on all of the formalities, including trying to impress people I don’t even care about. Perhaps I will wed at City Hall and then throw a big party. But the thought of making my friends wear those ugly dresses and a commercial DJ who can never get it right because s/he has to please people of all ages, and older people are typically giving bigger gifts… oh it’s all so dreadful. The only pretty part is the church (or other house of worship) ceremony and the outdoor pictures thereafter. Everything else is just dreadful, dreadful, dreadful.

Disclaimer: I have been to some fabulous weddings, but this is based on the many wedding pics that come up on my FB news feed, not those that I’ve attended. So close friends, do not worry—unless you think your wedding looked like a prom.

Wedding Etiquette

Real-Life Wedding Guests Who Did The Dress Code Right

Your 20s: The Wedding Years

Wedding Make-up and Photography in the Jersey City/NYC area.

The 5 Most Annoying Posts About Being Engaged

Advertisements

marriage-2

Would you stick to the same company, car, house, phone or computer for your entire life? What about your friends?

People grow and evolve and have different experiences, and things change over time: feelings, opinions. We don’t always grow together, so I refuse to wrap my head around the idea of marriage. It’s hard work. I cannot control another person, but have some control over my personal future. I believe in love, but I question marriage.

I’m not best friends with the same person I was 20 years ago. Why on earth would I be as madly in love with the same man 20 years from now?

sadinbed

I learned a new medical term this morning: Post-coital dysphoria. PCD is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, or irritability after having s-e-x. The post-S blues. About a third of women experience this at some point in their lives.

I’m an extremely independent person; I love being alone and always have. At a very young age, I learned that I couldn’t rely on anyone but myself. This is just a natural feeling that comes from neglect and, in my case, unexpected deaths of people on whom I depended. Or certain people not being by my side during catastrophic events. At the end of the day, you only have yourself.

Abandonment in childhood bleeds into adulthood, manifesting itself in other ways. PCD may very well be one of them. I get sad sometimes when my boyfriend leaves in the morning, even if I know I’ll see him later in the day. It’s strange: My brain is trained to think that every goodbye is the last goodbye. The other night, I cried my eyes out when he didn’t pick up his phone. He was going to leave his house soon to come to mine for dinner, yet over an hour had passed and he wasn’t picking up the phone. I immediately think death. A cheater wouldn’t make that mistake.

If you don’t let anyone in, you avoid being hurt. While love is great, it is a great risk and a roller coaster I’m safer not riding. Like PCD, well, if you don’t do it in the first place, you don’t have to deal with the aftermath.

heartSome people only love another person out of loneliness or some sort of selfish need. They want to share their life with someone, to settle down. OMG, we are 30, the clock is ticking, it is time to nest! They fear of dying old alone, want to have children, want to be taken care of emotionally and financially. There are so many reasons for co-dependent relationships and/or marriages.

Real love is if you genuinely love your life on your own, but the thought of NOT sharing it with a specific person (insert name here) seems unfathomable. Yes, relationships (friends, frenemies, family, co-workers, business partners, lover(s)) are complicated. But as for love, I think it’s as simple as that. There is at least one person who, after s/he came into your life, you cannot possibly live without him/her.

sweet

Laundry, check. Closet set & check. Spackle, floor cleaning, dish washing, trash taking out, check. Dinner, check. Did I lift a finger? No. Boyfriend, check. I think I can get used to this. He’s the best.

intimacy

How to have amazing sex:

♥ Arrive at his house in a satin skirt, stilettos, rhinestone heels, a silk top, and La Perla bra before he gets home from work.

♥ Enter living room when lover/boyfriend/husband arrives. Say hi but otherwise ignore him.

♥ Prepare for fingers, hands, mouth action.

♥ Get stripped and taken more advantage of.

 

Enjoy.

 

rose

 

I’ll never forget. Happy Birthday! 12.21.81


Follow giaportfolio on WordPress.com
%d bloggers like this: