When they don’t listen, don’t speak


For all of the opinions I’ve had in business, and there have been many many many across industries, I’ve been taught to be quiet and, statistically, by male leaders. Especially if I had a different opinion than the CEO.

After this happens a few times, I stop saying anything. I watch destruction. I don’t care.

It’s not that I’m always right, but I know certain things very well. Things that I don’t know, I research extensively. When sharing my thoughts, if someone isn’t receptive, I refrain. I retain my knowledge and save it for another company, another cause.

I have a file of every business decision I’ve made as a superior and every that I’ve offered as a subordinate. In retrospect, there is a lot of #winning material and some that is just crap. But the difference is, as a superior, I was trusted and given free reign to execute; as a subordinate, I had many ideas dismissed but later implemented by others without credit or acknowledgement. That is the stopping point.

You can have my silence. You can sit and wonder in the presence of my silence. Forever.

I will keep my ideas.

Always Thinking. Not for you.


Just one day!

shithppensLast Friday was a bit craZy. My mother and I both got laid off from our respective jobs, my puppy Sheba was diagnosed with Lyme disease, and oh—my father was thrown in jail.

Top it off with my boyfriend getting sick from his gum disease anti-biotic injections. And then I had to finish my medical testing which had been going on for months. Talk about feeling weak!

A challenging week ensued, but this is another Friday.

And I plan to enjoy it.

New Year’s Party Success


So my bf had the idea to have a New Year’s Eve party—at my place.

I thought: Cool because I have to work that day, I don’t care for the holiday or to travel, and it’s cold. But if everyone comes to me, fantastic! And this hostess has not ever hosted a party at her current home!

My roommate got on board and the three of us began planning.  And I think, great. Me, party-planner, well this wasn’t my idea so I don’t have to do all of the planning and hostess work and I won’t care as much if it’s awful.

But it was anything but. We thought oh—like 12 people may actually be free. But the day before, the number had climbed to 30+, and then 40+ ended up coming.

It is so fun when you have help prepping for a party, because it’s an exhausting amount of work if you want to include tons of personal touches, a la moi.

So the men focused on the man power: creating a stocked bar, moving furniture, and driving to PA for $200 worth of fireworks while I focused on decorations, party favors, blankets, balloons, air mattresses, pillows, pajamas, toothbrushes, every beauty product you can think of and goodie bag gifts. Oh yes, and the tapas menu.

The day after the affair, I thought what didn’t happen? Nothing I can think of.

Dancing, debauchery at its finest, huge fireworks show on the roof, inappropriate comments/confessions, tons of alcohol and fancy food, midnight toast actually was ready and poured for everyone on time for countdown, green things, white things, cop who lives downstairs made people do shots with him and puked in our sink (and here I thought we’d have a noise complaint or an arrest for lighting fireworks off the roof) glitter, glow, live music after dance party, and everyone (who wanted to) got laid!

I call that Succe$$!

And now all I hear is: When are you having your next party?!

Stay tuned. This old soul is still recovering 😉



I think when you embrace your quirks and really own them, you come into your own. I’ve recently spent time with some younger dolls who were always a bit socially awkward and not fully embracing the qualities that they had to bring to the table. Lack of self-confidence is natural when you’re a baby and feel out of place. You think you have to adapt to some mold.

But as you get older, you can choose the life you want to lead, and as I’ve said before and will say again, “You’ve got you, you’ve got one life, and you best be living it for you.” Anyone a bit or much older (well, those who are not ignorant, because there are plenty of those tragic, stuck souls) will tell you that once you do, you’ll be happier.

I’m so happy to see some of my shy friends blossoming, having the confidence to be authentic to themselves. I always felt weird about being me—not looking perfect all of the time, not always saying the right thing, not being comfortable with my true self because it totally does not fit in with the society I grew up in—but that was me, that was and is who I am. My best friends, crazy-big family, and people I associate with on a daily basis through work and business think my individuality is rad, and that’s pretty cool.

It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t awesome at soccer, basketball, field hockey or lacrosse. I wasn’t the best violinist, best singer, best ballerina or the best leader in every power position I was appointed to from elementary school throughout college and beyond. I’m a terrible driver (of cars, not boats). I’m dreadful at winter sports, not amazing at horseback riding, and have yet to surf, bungee jump or skydive (too scared). I wasn’t the best actress or editor despite my successful careers in both. None of this ish has mattered in the long run. It’s not important to be the best or greatest at something—it’s important to be happy and do things that make you happy and surround yourself with people that make you happy.

I wish I could say to my younger self: “Spend less time worrying about what others ‘may’ (and probably don’t, or if they do, they must have pathetic lives) think about you and more time being yourself and enjoying life.” It’s short; don’t waste it on stuff that drains your soul and ultimately serves no purpose but demise.

New experiences with my fave people or those from different walks of life challenge and fulfill me, even the endeavors I’m afraid to undertake or have failed at in the past. I’ll go in with a positive attitude and will probably have fun.

The main point that I’ve veered from (another bad habit of mine) is that PEOPLE LOVE YOU FOR YOU. Not just your family or best friends, but so many marvelous beings, acquaintances, and those strangers you have yet to meet. This world is such a big place; please never feel confined by your environment.

Loving Getting Doing


How to have amazing sex:

♥ Arrive at his house in a satin skirt, stilettos, rhinestone heels, a silk top, and La Perla bra before he gets home from work.

♥ Enter living room when lover/boyfriend/husband arrives. Say hi but otherwise ignore him.

♥ Prepare for fingers, hands, mouth action.

♥ Get stripped and taken more advantage of.




My Favorite Fall Trends

My favorite season is beginning to come to an end, but the month of November is still very much “fall,” so I want to take the time to appreciate what I’m into right now.

1. Orange lipstick. It looks surprisingly good on an array of complexions, as evidenced by the fall runway shows.


2. Coin jewelry. A movement has started on the Jersey City train tracks, and it’s quite beautiful.


3. Tall boots paired with mini skirts. Sexy and comfy.


4. Corduroy bombers and velvet blazers.


5. Pumpkin-scented/flavored everything, of course!


Lucky Pennies, Part II


I’m re-collecting lucky pennies…re-obsessing? It got to the point of crazy when I found myself trying to pick one up that had dried into the tar of a paved street.

An older man stopped in his tracks because I looked that psychotic. He gave me that WTF-are-you-serious? stare. I had to walk away, but promised myself I would come back with a tool and dig it out.

Five minutes later, on the train, I switched seats with a family so they could sit together, and while across from them, I noticed a quarter. I think the mom thought I was being creepy, but I had the urgency to tell her son to pick up the found money.

A quarter still has some value…well, maybe an “added” value, but one nonetheless. Unlike a lucky penny, which is purely a charm thing, a quarter can still get you something. Store owners will let you get away with being short some change…but not by 25¢. And “found money” is always good money. I pointed to the daughter and told her to pick it up and keep it, which she did.

Yesterday, in the middle of some dirty street in NYC (aren’t they all), I saw a shiny penny. This penny would decide if I should go to Beijing, if I should move to CT or work in central Jersey. I was puking at all of the offers—here, when I was already way into the process of creating my dream job. This beautiful penny would assure my happiness, would inform me of the right direction, of my future.

This all started here.