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Archive for the ‘Pondering’ Category

Success

I’m proud to say that I don’t owe anyone for my personal success in life. My parents financed my education and raised me with lots of cultural exposure, and I’m very grateful for that. But it was up to me to utilize that knowledge and create the life I wanted for myself; no one can actually “achieve” things for you.

I was born a dedicated, independent, hard worker. I didn’t need to be supervised because I had such an innate structure about my life. My parents never worried about me, as they did my brothers. They knew I was responsible and would take care of myself and do well.

I wouldn’t even let my mother dress me when I was younger; I always knew what I liked and what was right for me. I like being the boss, which is why I became one a year after graduating college; it’s why I was appointed president of a few clubs in prep school. I am a leader; not a follower. I have opinions that are usually on-point with the market when it comes to business. People often don’t trust my opinions…oh so much money lost. Not my probz.

This is not to say I don’t like creative collaboration. I just hate working in corporations where my professional opinion is not considered, especially as a female and a person who knows a certain demographic very well. But getting back to the point…

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pantone

When you’ve known people for a long time or even your whole life (without even remembering much from the early days), you see them in a lot of outfits and more importantly, colors. So for my family, when they are thinking of others in the immediate group, I’ve created the Family Color Palette.

Mom: Turqouise, Neon Yellow, Magenta

Piers: Orange, Royal Blue, Canary Yellow, Aqua

Rindy: Navy Blue, Red, Dark Gray

Dad: Black, Red

Will: Lavender, Purple, Celadon

And me: Hollywood Cerise, Ultra Pink, Navy Blue, Neon Orange,  Gold (metallic), Yellow

Please study the Pantone chart to get your own colors right.

 

monogram-etiquette

Welcome to the UES, where old money gents are mellow yet insecure because they didn’t earn it themselves, or, even worse, it is from their wife’s side of the family and hurts their di(ck)nity.

Moving down to other generations, like mine, which I think have a slightly better grasp of the real world, I am still bothered by the double-kiss, or the improper way of not switching hands (fork only in your dominant hand; knife down resting diagonally on edge of plate) once you cut something while dining. If you are not from Europe, why are you following European etiquette?! One kiss, and switch hands.

Seriously, for everything old-money privilege buys in education and smart connections, you should know better. I am always appalled to see how the most wealthy are so dumb when it comes to proper etiquette and manners. Simple things like introducing people or being able to connect with new people through the art that is known as conversation.

I think it is safe to say that many children of old money are ill-trained in manners and the value of hard work (I mean very hard work with long hours, not doing community service for your current DUI or coke-induced altercation). I don’t know if your parents encouraged you to pursue anything you wanted, or just told you you could do anything you want. There is a difference.

This isn’t necessarily about a sense of entitlement, but being raised with a sense of how to speak, how to act around others, and how to treat other people, no matter from where. I’ve found that many of the 1% don’t get it. These are invaluable lessons that will hold you back from pursuing your dreams, no matter how connected you are. If you cannot connect to people, they will not be connecting back.

I feel sorry for you fortunate enough to have a few generations of inherited money, because often that means you were not encouraged to develop inherent people skills.

Anyway, my two-kiss lover from Europe…well, I just found out he has four names! So now I really can’t make fun. Except for those table manners 😉

But take a moment to think about every aspect of your public persona, as well as your audience in any setting.

And behave accordingly FTW.

pdt

It’s hard to keep everybody’s secrets, but I am loyal and have only spilled when the confiding person threw a number on me.

Imagine not speaking to a soul about what you know. An abortion or secret love child from an affair (so many with infidelity scenarios), a reputation-harming fetish or sickness, the cheating on a major major major exam, money laundering, or (accidentally?!) killing someone (j/k, luckily don’t know anyone with that last one). What do you know about other people than you cannot share? And how does it haunt you?

It is hard to know things, but when you give someone your word, you give them your word. I have kept many secrets from daylight. Most are those I wish I had never known in the first place.

There are secrets that are merely gossip-worthy, and you need to unleash on at least one party not involved because that person has no one to share it with—or at least no one that matters where it would circle in the relevant circle. [Or you may just be an unloyal beyatch who has nothing to talk about other than gossip and needs to share it. Ya’ll are dumb and not part of my post so be gone.]

But the real test of being a secret-keeper is thinking before you speak when an unknowing third party mentions something uncannily related to the very secret you’re harboring in conversation. You cannot forget that your knowledge is secret and that an utterance of a single word will do plenty harm and no good.

Harboring is exhausting. It is shocking and hard to believe what some people have gone through/are going through. I need not add to their issues and talk about it. More importantly, people confide in me and I respect their trust in my loyalty. My lips will be zipped, but sometimes knowing is overwhelming.

happiness

I remember my mother telling me about a former friend of hers who said, “If only I get that new Mercedes, I’ll be happy;” “When I get that mink fur coat, I’ll be happy.” The thing was, she got those things and countless others, and was never happy.

When it came to materialistic things, she got everything she wanted. There was no financial issue holding her back from obtaining what her heart(?) desired, yet acquiring those things did not make her happy—at least not in the way she thought they would. She had a void that could not be filled by accumulating beautiful objects. Neither could it be filled by her loving husband and amazing daughter.

I feel extremely sorry for people like her. Take a look around you and look at everything that you do have.

Who cares about that shit when you have been blessed with health, happiness, and love (naturally!)?

I think this country needs to get Back to Basics, and I say country, because this is not just some local problem of my parents’ and their friends’ generations having wayyy more money than they knew what to do with, spending lavishly (read: foolishly) and running out of things to spend it on in the boom-boom eighties and early nineties. No, this is something that has contributed to ruining of the US of A on a national level involving everyone, regardless of economical level. Something that I do not see when I travel elsewhere. #Ungratefulness #ShameonUS

The introduction of “reality” TV and social media birthed the hideous term fomo (“fear of missing out” Oh, the horror [eye-roll]), and media use this as their tool to instill our spending weaknesses (money and time), all of which have only heightened our anxiety and dissatisfaction with our own lives.

Moving on from my childhood of Material Eighties Excess, there is a much bigger beast in the room: Knowing everything others have and are doing In Real Time. Smartphones and computers have not only allowed us to be connected 24/7, they encourage us to be involved in the diaspora, to live in the false sense of world that others create, the stories they write about themselves, and tactically entice us to partake in a Jones game rather than be aware of real life.

It’s embarrassing that technology, which has helped us in so many ways socially, has truly hindered the human race in actual, real-life social communication. I was trying to watch a football game and everyone in the room was on their phones—including (sad to admit it) me.

I especially appreciate how people beg for my one-on-one time and then when I finally carve out an afternoon in my crazy-busy schedule for that person, they need to call  their boyfriend/gf to update on “Gia and I just saw this. We are having so much fun” or snapchat or interrupt their own story because “We must take a photo here” or some such. We are all guilty but STOP. I don’t get to talk with you every day; I made the time; and I don’t want to be present if you are not.

I am here; I am now.

And I will not be here next time because you are wasting my time to communicate with someone you see every day (when I could be working on my infinite creative projects in the works that I tear myself away from to spend time with you).

I will not be here forever.

The time is way overdue to Get Back to Basics. Be here, be mindful, be present. Look around you. Life is happening Now.

lies

People hate me because not only do I expose the truth about them, I am honest about the Devil I am. Take it or leave it. I believe in being upfront and open because I don’t like to waste time on liars or waste time on lying.

Yes, sometimes the truth stabs but I do not believe in sugar-coating and I do believe in calling people out on bad behavior. I equally accept people calling me out on mine because the things I say are shocking and sometimes offensive, even though I don’t intend them to come across that way.

I have always been honest about my shortcomings, so how about before you lie to me, you take a good look in the mirror and be honest with yourself?

Who are you?

You all know who I am. And I am not always fun and pleasant. I am loyal, but mostly unforgiving when you’ve crossed my path after I’ve fought for you. But now you fight against me? Good riddance.

I am very particular and protective about the people in my circle and quite thought I had the skill down, but there are still jerks in disguise that not only drain me, but make me look like a jerk in my loud self-defense. Oh, you’re the quiet one in front of friends so you are good.

NO. Just because everyone else doesn’t hear what you say to me doesn’t mean that I didn’t hear it.

But all my neighbors do hear you in the middle of the night as well as hear their walls shake and it’s embarrassing for me to even defend you because everyone is so worried about me. Just trying to live a normal life. And it really is awesome without the toxic people.

If you own yourself and your ish from jump, it’s someone else’s fault if he or she gets involved. If you lie about ish from jump, it’s your own g-d fault that that crashed and burned all over you.

#justsaying #learnedalotoflifelessonsataveryyoungage #nobullshit #willnottakecrapwithoutafight

Just saying.

man-pedicure

“I really need a mani-pedi today,” my boyfriend said on Sunday. It’s something I introduced him to that he now loves.

When we walked out of the salon his first time, he started skipping down the street saying “I feel like I’m walking on air! Look how clean my hands are!” This was exactly the response I’d expect from a manly man who finally submits to pampering. This man is a six-day-a-week hardwarian, a term he created for his 10-hour days as co-owner, operator and manager of his family hardware store, which involves a lot of dirt, grime and heavy lifting.

Most nail salons charge more for men than women. My nail specialist said it’s because there is more area to cover, but at the same time, I was thinking that my man is not getting polish, a base coat or top coat and needs no dry time, so doesn’t that equalize the p(l)aying field?

On the price difference, my boyfriend said, “That’s so sexist.” It is, right? Then I had another thought: Men make more than women for doing the same job in the work force, so perhaps they should pay more for their maintenance. Plus, women have a lot more maintenance practices than men, being that this is a man’s world and we are often objectified and defined by our looks above all else.

But then what about this? With the LGBTQIA community in mind, how is a salon to decide who is a man or a woman? What if I was born a man but identify myself as a woman? Which price will I be charged to get a mani-pedi?

I don’t get this country. At all. American citizens should pay the same prices for the same services, and we should be able to choose where we get those services. It’s one thing to offer a discount for a child, senior citizen or a veteran, but quite another to be charged based solely on gender (or paid solely on gender). That’s not cool.

There is still so much more work to be done.


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