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pajama-rich

 A phrase to describe one who does not have to wear real clothes to go to work, or to any formal business event, such as a professional meeting, a legal settlement or dinner.

Basically, the dress code of Hugh Hefner and all tech leaders. I don’t think this applies to weddings or black-tie balls, but if you really are that rich—technorati rich—it probably does.

It is the counterpart of Kimono Living, when you don’t have to wear anything fancy on the daily because you don’t have to go anywhere. You work from the comfort of your beautiful, peaceful home. Or indecent apartment, if you are are not super wealthy (yet, you hope, because you consider yourself an entrepreneur and act as such).

These two worlds share much in common in dress code and entrepreneurial spirit. Yet, one is at the top and one is at the bottom. The people that encompass these realms are actually quite compatible. Each group lacks certain traits that the other has socially and they share many innate business skills. Quite complementary characters.

One is used to being glorified; one is used to glorifying themselves (or both contain these qualities, which is perfect for them). It’s the Billionaire to the Trophy Wife or the “Pretty Woman” theme.

I identify with each type: I work in the tech world with peeps that are NYC business casual, but in a building that Anna Wintour calls her Vogue home. Do I need to be a fashionista in One World Trade? Probably. Technorati is not glitterati, but perhaps we need dress super innovatively for Conde’s sake. (It’s so hard in the winter!)

Who wants to think about fashion?

But there is also the semi-relaxed me, that works from home on the weekends in my own creative space in a beautiful Kimono.

Eventually, I’ll be able to combine all efforts and be Pajama Rich. And maybe, my silky casual style, will even be recognized in Vogue. #lifegoals

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pantone

When you’ve known people for a long time or even your whole life (without even remembering much from the early days), you see them in a lot of outfits and more importantly, colors. So for my family, when they are thinking of others in the immediate group, I’ve created the Family Color Palette.

Mom: Turqouise, Neon Yellow, Magenta

Piers: Orange, Royal Blue, Canary Yellow, Aqua

Rindy: Navy Blue, Red, Dark Gray

Dad: Black, Red

Will: Lavender, Purple, Celadon

And me: Hollywood Cerise, Ultra Pink, Navy Blue, Neon Orange,  Gold (metallic), Yellow

Please study the Pantone chart to get your own colors right.

 

belushijpg

Some people get more tragic with age.

So many older boys I seriously crushed on in high school are seriously not hot now that they’re adults. Adding to inevitable hair-loss or weight gain or what have you, some guys never really grow up, acting like frat boys when they are 35+.

Age doesn’t favor many well in looks so why detract more from what already isn’t working for you? Part of growing up is, well, growing up. Those who actually do are far hotter than those that try to maintain their college personas.

I’m not sitting on a high horse — I’ve certainly lost swagger over the years — that’s part of ageing. Youth is something you cannot regain, whether through acting or dressing or going under the knife (and you shouldn’t!). Nothing truly gives you back the natural aura of youth.

But there is beauty with age that more people should embrace. You (should) gain new perspective and a higher level of emotional maturity. There’s value in that. And there’s also value in taking care of the body that houses your mind like healthy adults do. Strive to be beautiful on the inside; it will radiate outside tenfold.

Almost every time I look at the clock, it says 9:11. Every single day, sometimes twice a day, I see this number. As if I would ever forget. I will NEVER forget.

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phobia

From the Grammar Diva who has a fondness for phobias, here are some entertaining ones that may ruin your social season.

FEAR OF…

Alcohol – methyphobia [Understandable, just don’t hang out with me.]

Anything New – neophobia [Change is always hard.]

Church – ecclesiophobia [The structure will not hurt you unless it collapses on you.]

Cooking  – mageirocophobia [New York-area people: What is cooking?]

Dolls – pediophobia [Oh, so true. If you didn’t watch the ventriloquist or mannequin episodes of The Twilight Zone, check out this book I loved as a child that my mother just got out of her storage unit. Disturbed would be a mild reaction. WTF are adults in charge of childhood entertainment doing? And furthermore, why did I like this damn book?)

Eating – phagophobia [Another excuse for anorexia.]

Holy things – hagiophobia [A friend went home with a guy who had shrines/ relics to the Holy Lord everywhere. How can you Marvin Gaye and Get It On with that staring at you? #sinners]

Home – ecophobia [I get it if you only had terrible memories.] I am still very much a “home is where the heart is” and, like, my family is EVERYTHING. My own home is EVEN BETTER. I’m a homebody?

Ice or Frost – pagophobia [I have a medical condition and totally relate.]

Kissing – philemaphobia [TRAGIC. Completely TRAGIC.]

Laughter – geliophobia [Again, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?]

Light – photophobia [Most people I know are opposite. Does that mean we’re optimistic?]

Memories – mnemophobia [We all have bad ones…]

Religion – theophobia [no need to be afraid unless it’s corrupting your life. I mean, we live in a free world where you do not have to believe in anything.]

 

My current truth.

Lyrics here for reference.

Thanks @nicki_lo for introducing me to all of @sarabareillesI would have forgotten the music of that night if you didn’t cover this song like a boss. Ed. update: And was reminded how much I love you singing this song when you did a late night cover 11/6/16.

monogram-etiquette

Welcome to the UES, where old money gents are mellow yet insecure because they didn’t earn it themselves, or, even worse, it is from their wife’s side of the family and hurts their di(ck)nity.

Moving down to other generations, like mine, which I think have a slightly better grasp of the real world, I am still bothered by the double-kiss, or the improper way of not switching hands (fork only in your dominant hand; knife down resting diagonally on edge of plate) once you cut something while dining. If you are not from Europe, why are you following European etiquette?! One kiss, and switch hands.

Seriously, for everything old-money privilege buys in education and smart connections, you should know better. I am always appalled to see how the most wealthy are so dumb when it comes to proper etiquette and manners. Simple things like introducing people or being able to connect with new people through the art that is known as conversation.

I think it is safe to say that many children of old money are ill-trained in manners and the value of hard work (I mean very hard work with long hours, not doing community service for your current DUI or coke-induced altercation). I don’t know if your parents encouraged you to pursue anything you wanted, or just told you you could do anything you want. There is a difference.

This isn’t necessarily about a sense of entitlement, but being raised with a sense of how to speak, how to act around others, and how to treat other people, no matter from where. I’ve found that many of the 1% don’t get it. These are invaluable lessons that will hold you back from pursuing your dreams, no matter how connected you are. If you cannot connect to people, they will not be connecting back.

I feel sorry for you fortunate enough to have a few generations of inherited money, because often that means you were not encouraged to develop inherent people skills.

Anyway, my two-kiss lover from Europe…well, I just found out he has four names! So now I really can’t make fun. Except for those table manners 😉

But take a moment to think about every aspect of your public persona, as well as your audience in any setting.

And behave accordingly FTW.

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