Earlier this winter, I was at a friend’s new apartment. I originally thought, knowing him and his girlfriend, that it was their we-are-growing-up-and-will-get-engaged-soon place. It is gorgeous, and I hope it is their happily-ever-after starting spot, but—they also have a roommate. Their roommate is a lovely and fabulous guy and they all get along really well, but I started to wonder, what does it feel like to be the third? And does it matter what sex each of the roommates are? Three can be company or three can be a crowd. I lived with three for my first few years in this city.
I’ve had both good and questionable experiences. Three girls (and me having a boyfriend while they were single); two girls and a boy (they were siblings, which meant sometimes I had to be mediator); another three girls (all of us single and scandalous). Now, I live in a new 2-bedroom apartment that I moved to with my friend who sadly had to move to Massachusetts for her medical career. The three issue still comes up though, because my new roommate is a boy and we are both in relationships. He’s a great roommate (I’ve lived with roommates since I was 14 and am friends for life with most), yet this whole three-thing got me thinking about a new dynamic.
My male roommate has a lovely gf, and I have a bf, and sometimes, we’re all in the humble abode. I think we get along pretty well, and there hasn’t been a real issue with the bathroom or TV or kitchen on the rare occasion that all four of us are here.
But when three of us are here, it seems a crowd, because one of us is the third wheel. In a 2-bedroom apartment, three can still be weird, only because it (usually) means one of us is with our partner and one is not. Perhaps just I feel that way. What bothers me about it is that I get a little jealous seeing other people be cute together. Even watching TV, right now, seeing people kiss makes me wish my boyfriend/best friend was here.
I want to know: Have you ever lived with two other roommates? Were they all the same sex or one of a different sex? What was the dynamic like—two of you in a relationship with each other, all of you in outside relationships, all of you single, two of you ending up in a relationship after living together, or two of you allying as friends and alienating the third (or were you the alienated third)? Or, is one of them gay and does that help or hinder your friendship and living situation? I think three’s a crowd in most situations, because two are always going to be closer than all three of you. Just a hunch, but tell me otherwise in the comments section. Curious to hear about your thoughts and experiences! What makes an ideal roommate or roommates?